Faith in the Waiting Room

Waiting rooms are honest places. There's no pretending, no performance: just you, the clock, and whatever you're actually waiting to hear. Spiritually, most of us live in some version of a waiting room more often than we'd like to admit.

Why waiting is so hard

Psychologist Kate Sweeny at the University of California, Riverside, has spent years studying what she describes as the most excruciating form of waiting: waiting for uncertain news whose outcome is beyond your control. She has followed law graduates waiting months for bar exam results, patients waiting for biopsy results and voters waiting on elections. Her work suggests that in some ways waiting can be harder than receiving bad news itself, and that it takes a real toll on our health.

That matches what most of us feel. Bad news, at least, is something you can respond to. Waiting leaves you suspended. You can't grieve yet, and you can't celebrate yet. You just wait.

The Bible doesn't pretend waiting is easy. But it tells a story that reframes it completely.

The two days Jesus stayed away

Lazarus lived in Bethany, a village less than two miles from Jerusalem, with his sisters Martha and Mary. They were close friends of Jesus. When Lazarus fell seriously ill, the sisters sent a short, urgent message:

"So the sisters sent word to Jesus, 'Lord, the one You love is sick.'" (John 11:3, BSB)

They didn't even ask Him to come. They assumed He would. What happened next is one of the most puzzling verses in the Gospels.

"Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So on hearing that Lazarus was sick, He stayed where He was for two days." (John 11:5-6, BSB)

Notice the word "so." John doesn't say Jesus loved them, but He stayed. He says Jesus loved them, so He stayed. The delay flowed out of love, not in spite of it.

Lazarus's sisters sent for Jesus and He stayed where He was two more days. By any human timeline, that's late. Lazarus died waiting. And yet John tells us Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus. The delay wasn't neglect. It was timing that led somewhere greater than a healing: a resurrection.

What the sisters said

When Jesus finally arrived, Lazarus had been in the tomb four days. Both sisters met Him with the same painful sentence: "Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died" (John 11:21, BSB). It's the prayer of every waiting room. If You had come sooner.

Jesus didn't rebuke them. He told Martha, "I am the resurrection and the life" (John 11:25, BSB). And when He saw Mary weeping, John records the shortest verse in the Bible: "Jesus wept" (John 11:35, BSB). He knew what He was about to do, and He still wept with them. The One who allows the wait also feels its pain.

Then He stood at the tomb and called, "Lazarus, come out!" (John 11:43, BSB), and a dead man walked out. If Jesus had arrived in time, Martha and Mary would have seen a healing. Because He waited, they saw a resurrection, and so did we. Jesus had said from the start that this was "for the glory of God" (John 11:4, BSB).

Waiting well

We don't get to see the whole timeline while we're living inside it. That's the nature of faith: trusting a schedule you can't read, from an Author you can.

Here are some ways to wait with faith rather than just endure.

Tell Him plainly. Martha and Mary's message was honest and short. You can pray the same way. Waiting doesn't mean pretending you're fine.

Lean on the people around you. In one of Sweeny's studies of 168 law graduates waiting for bar exam results, the ones who simply felt supported by their partners coped better, slept better and were healthier. You don't have to wait alone. Let your church and friends know where you are.

Look at something bigger than your problem. Sweeny's research has found that experiences of awe help people bear uncertain waiting. Christians have the ultimate source of awe. Read a psalm of creation. Go outside at night and look up. Worship.

Stay in today. Her work also points to the value of being absorbed in the present moment rather than running endless scenarios. Do today's work. Love the people in front of you.

Hold on to the promise.

"But those who wait upon the LORD will renew their strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31, BSB)

If you're in a waiting room right now, spiritually or literally, the delay is not proof that you've been forgotten. It might be proof that something bigger than what you originally asked for is being prepared.